Mary has this little toy refrigerator that sings the ABC’s. It is so cute because Mary knows the tune even though she doesn’t know the details of the song. She’ll just started “singing” it and swaying back and forth. It is a blast watching her discover and learn new things.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately in terms of my life. I feel as if there are areas in my life where I know the “tune of a song” but I’m missing the details of the lyrics. For example, Matt and I heard about Luke this past April. The first time I laid eyes on his little picture I immediately felt like he belonged to me. It was as if I had found out I was “pregnant.” The joy that filled my heart overflowed into every ounce of my being. I feel as if it has been a long process of finally getting to where we are in the final stretch of this adoption, but at the same time each days seems like an eternity when I’m away from my little man. It’s as if I know the “tune” or process of adoptions but I don’t know or struggle with the details of what it means to wait.
I am TERRIBLE at waiting! I know that God has things He can work on within my soul while I wait but I’m so busy humming the tune of my situation that I drown out His words. I get anxious and sometimes sad when I don’t feel like things are moving quick enough. I tend to doubt or freak myself out about all the “What If’s.” During these times, my soul is restless. It’s about time I start trusting in God’s timing and not mine. I believe there is an art to waiting on God’s plan to come to fulfillment. In the midst of some situations it is difficult to understand God’s timing. But if I take time to pray and LISTEN I’m sure I will hear the WORDS of the song my God is singing to me instead of just the tune.
It is only in genuinely hearing His words of Truth that one can start to understand why she has to wait. I know there are trials and challenges that await me. I can start making my waiting productive. Instead of getting frustrated I can ask God to help me grow in patience and understanding. I can take every moment I’m waiting to hold my new son in my arms as an opportunity to ask God to strengthen me as a mother…to help me in areas of my life where I am weak. I can spend more time generating and nurturing the relationships that will be our family’s support system. I can discover new things I can incorporate into my family’s traditions to help us be a strong and faith-filled unit.
I hope to be able to use my moments of waiting as opportunities of learning and growth. If I do then I will be able to sing the correct words that accompany the beautiful tune God has written for my life.